i can't decide how i feel about anything right now.

improv on tuesday was a very funny time. the boy from improv that i wish was my boyfriend came over and talked with me and beth. he decided that the three of us need a secret handshake. actually, i think he asked if we wanted to have one, which i thought was really silly/cute. i can't tell you how it goes because that is the secret part, but he decided that we should all say something at the same time, "like, maybe...togetherness?" hahaha. in the end we changed it to "tenderness," mostly because beth knows i hate the word "tender" and also because we had otis redding on the brain. i would do anything to hang out with that kid, i bet he is lots of fun.

when we got back from improv, we got out of the car that i parked on the street and i saw someone walking around on our porch. which isn't weird if you live on the first floor, but we don't, we live on the second. the person called "HEY ERIN!" and i was freaked out that they knew my name. i couldn't tell who it was in the dark and i yelled "WHO'S THAT?!" and it was just silly josh. he claims that when i wouldn't answer my phone (because it was off) he thought that i was in my room sleeping and refusing to answer...so he took the liberty of climbing on our balcony and knocking on my bedroom window for a few minutes before he realized that maybe i really wasn't there. what a goof. he brought some friends over but they left shortly after and josh stayed to watch "the state" which he had never seen before. FOR SHAME!

last nite beth and i went to see the cramps. it was an alrite time, but the crowd was so fucking annoying that i wanted to kill someone or myself and that was distracting me from enjoying myself. i loved that they played their cover of "psychotic reaction" but was sad that they didn't do "the crusher." boohoo.

today i got one of the best random voice mail messages ever, with someone singing "i'm too sexy" with all the wrong words. i guess it was someone that amy works with that i don't even know. awesome.

i first started writing in a diary when i was in about third grade. although i did not do it regularly, i kept up for a good deal of the first year and have some entries from third and fourth grade. it proves for some interesting and entertaining reading now. for one thing, i end every entry with the phrase "i had fun" no matter what i talked about that sounds like no fun at all. for example:

"today my brother went to a mom son dance. my dad built a shelf. i had fun today."

i also had a habit of giving a detailed description of what we had for lunch or dinner:

"we had tacos for supper. i had fun." and "we had burger king for lunch, and made steak on the fire for supper. it was fun."

there were some entries that rather disturbed me, though i remember nothing about them actually happening:

"i slept in my brothers bed. it was fun." and "at night me and my bro. mikey dressed up as belky and cousin larry. we made a tape." [perfect strangers, anyone?]

some of it just ruled though:

"i hit my bro. i got in trouble but i had fun."