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i know that i have a lot to update about, but life is pretty intense lately and all the things that are really important or really matter are in question, one way or the other. it makes updating about everything else seem really insignificant somehow. i know that i am not explaining anything and probably am not making much sense, so i'm sorry. this is a weird time. big themes like future plans, school/career things, love, close friendships, etc...it's a lot to sort through all at once.
ANYWAY. i've seen some good shows lately, and i needed the rock in my life. me, beth and kevin saw the gore gore girls and it was excellent. i wish i was in that band so i could wear cute dresses and have nice hair and rock really hard. i bet boys would like me then. i saw the sights/dozen dead roses with amy and greg the bunny. we decided that the singer of dozen dead roses looks like an oldskool uncle jesse. there was a wonderful conversation about greg the bunny helping him blow his nose and the significance of his exposed bellybutton, but i don't think i could recreate it properly here. i guess you shoulda been there gettin down with your bad self. the sights were fantastic. the singer has the fanciest dancin' feet i have ever seen! last friday was guitar wolf and it was AMAZING. probably one of the best shows i've ever seen. saw so many friends! everyone was there! cliff, andy, jade, annie, brie, ezra, kevin, kathy, mr. rottyman, people from improv, people from the radio station, people that stalk me and beth, people that we saw naked. ha it was crazy. i was right up front and i got my butt spanked SERIOUSLY, and i have the bruised knees from banging up against the stage to prove it. but it was totally worth it. they rocked out SO HARD. i don't even think you can understand if you weren't there to witness it yourself. the nite resulted in big smiles (me) and funny faces (them):
they are real nice. billy is super funny. when cliff asked for a picture, billy replied "sure, motherfucker!" he hugged cliff when he was done and andy felt left out. "can i get a hug?" he asked, and billy told him "sure. but i'm not a homosexual!" then he announced that he had to take a dump and left the room. priceless. when i asked seiji to take a picture with me he said sure and proceeded to pick me up to pose for the picture! unfortunately it did not come out because the flash wasn't on. dang! there are a few more pictures from the band playing here.
my "best friend" jesse coined the term "decorative negro" while watching "metal mania" on vh1 classics, and now he has been m.i.a. for the last two weeks. that's sad. there was one nite when my brother mike and i went to dennys and bonded until like 4am. we talked about girls and boys, one of the first indepth conversations we have had like that. i told him everything and he told me. i worry about him, but i know that he is a good kid and i hope the best for him. he told me that the end of his relationship made him realize he shouldn't take people you care about for granted, and i couldn't agree more. i love my family and my friends. if you are reading this, i hope you know that.
i've also hung out with kevin quite a bit. 90s nite, bars, shows, houses. he even called me out of my nice, warm bed at 4:30am one morning and i didn't even regret getting 25 minutes of sleep for work the next morning. he is fun and i missed that kid, but i wish he was more like the old kevin instead of having this bitter, sarcastic front all the time. not that i don't understand where it came from...i just see through it because i know there's more to it than that. i also wish i knew if it even mattered to him that we are friends again, because it means so much to me that i would hate to think i am the only one who cares. i'm sure we are not on the same level, but it would be terrible to think it might not matter to him one way or the other if we ever talked again. i'm too scared to ask because i'm too scared to hear the answer. i know that i should just keep my mouth shut, and it's really hard. all the things i want to say and can't.
wow. that was a lot of updating. let me leave you with these two gems. first, richie's claim for what he will do when beth and i are able to get a time slot for hot trash where swears are allowed:
Screen Richie: I will say not just fuck but bitch as well.
and finally, an idea i was telling to my brother, as dictated by its creator, beth. this is a movie that will be made one day, but not by you, so don't steal her great idea! hahaha:
BRAINSTEW3: there are these kids, and all of their grandpas are friends
xoxo
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