so, next order of business. the thing that i brought up a while ago that i was freaking out about, which of course really isn't as bad as i was making it seem: beth and tim are engaged now. i am starting to accept it and realize how stupid it was to be selfish and only think of my feelings. it is just hard to adjust to the idea that it isn't only me and beth anymore, when that is the only way it has been for the last 11 years. we have been best friends since we were 12 and we have been inseperable. then we finally move in together for what is almost 2 years, we get to go to school together just like we always dreamed about when we were in grade school, we have all these plans about writing books together and keeping up with the awesome radio show we have and doing all this other stuff...and now i have to get used to the fact that she has someone else to divide her time up with, someone else that is really important to her, someone else that she is going to eventually leave me for to live with...and who knows where she will go when she does. it's really scary. it's really hard to deal with. it makes me realize how fast we are growing up, and how unprepared i was for some of this to be happening already. i feel like i am going through a breakup in a way. i don't know. but for now, i am trying to make the best of it. i don't know when they will actually get married or when she will actually move out. i try not to think about any of that until i absolutely have to.

i have a lot of catching up to do. i might as well do it in categories.

SHOWS

defiance: free show, went with little matt, saw friends, etc.

motorhead: i firmly believe that seeing motorhead live in concert is an experience that everyone needs at least once in their lifetime. lots of friends were at the show, although there were lots more that should have been saving up for it and been there as well. hung with/saw skinny, lacey, ezra, johnny, the kid who looks like the kid who always talks about music, a guy from our history class, a guy who faked his accent to impress beth, charles, greg the bunny, jim, beth's newest stalker, keith miller if cancel, mike hughes, billie, metalthingpaul, etc. the agora was totally packed with nasty biker guys, but beth and i found a good spot in the back where we could still see the stage. at once point i turned to beth and said, "we're in the same room as lemmy." it made us laugh to realize it. what a GREAT show, too. i loved hearing "R.A.M.O.N.E.S." live for some reason. and the encore with "ace of spades" and "overkill" was amaaaazing. beth even admitted she didn't want the show to end. and she hardly ever says that.

peelander-z: i had been hearing about them for a while now and meant to go last time they were in town but couldn't. i was determined to go this time, even if it meant going alone, which it did. luckily i met up with greg the bunny once i got there, and lacey and ezra were also there. I AM SO GLAD I SAW THIS BAND AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO COME BACK. trying to describe one of their shows is hard because it is nowhere near as funny as it actually is to be there. if you have seen them before, you know what i mean. the only way i can describe them is to say that they are like rocknroll superheros. the singer dresses as a huge banana. the bass player has this red dragon costume, complete with glittery wings. the drummer (who is my future boyfriend) has a blue wrestler sort of outfit, with these big belts and such. they are all about singing silly songs (i.e. "steak") and rocking the fuck out. they like to get the audience to participate. they hold up signs that say things like "steak" and "medium rare" and want you to yell it back to them. they pass out pots and pants and drum sticks and pom-poms and tambourines and pull everyone on stage with them for a huge party. they dance and play human bowling and take pictures with the audience in a big wooden frame and they tell you to "send it to your mother." it is one of the most fun shows you will ever go to, i promise. the best part of it all is the singer's hair, which is all shaved except for two curly little pigtails. haha. wonderful. after the show lacey had more balls than me, so she asked my boyfriend the drummer to take a picture with me. he grabbed the wooden frame, the "medium rare" sign, and at the last minute, the other two guys ran to get into the frame and i got my picture taken with the whole band. haha i can't wait to see those pictures when i get them developed. next time they are in town, i had BETTER see you there banging on some pots.

FUNNY THINGS

*before the motorhead show, beth and i went to a fish fry. because this is obviously a funny thing to do. mostly because we planned it in advance: school, shopping, fish fry, motorhead. so anyway, it was at my old grade school (also funny) and my dad was working there to help out the boyscouts (ALSO funny!). my brother mike came and he introduced us to his boyscout friend, who decided that he is going to use our extra ticket and come to the green day concert with us. me, beth, amy, and a boyscout named mike that we never met until that nite at the fish fry. it's gonna be great. and funny.

*one day when i came home from work, i found beth sitting on bedcouch with a blanket pulled up over her head. i peeked around the side to see if she was sleeping, and that is when she pulled the blanket COMPLETELY over her head, yelling "i got a really bad haircut!" then she pulled the blanket off her head, sat up, and said "just kidding!" she was still in her pajamas. i yelled at her and asked her what the fuck was wrong with her that she would even think to do that. then we both laughed.

*andrew called us one nite and said that dale was going to be in town. one summer about 9 years ago, me, beth, andrew, dale, and this kid danny were this inseperable posse. so anyhow, beth and i hadn't seen dale for at least a year when andrew called to tell us this, and we made plans to meet up. we knew that andrew and dale were going to the movies, so we took a good guess and went up to cinemark to look for their car. luckily we found it right away, but then we parked across from it and spent an hour sitting there waiting for them to come out and singing all the 90s alternative songs that came on the radio. when they did come out, neither of them noticed my car or the fact that i flashed the lights and honked the horn. dale and andrew got in separate cars and left. i peeled out to follow. as we were driving down canal, we were trying to figure out if they could tell we were behind them yet. we stopped at a red light, and all the sudden dale came running out of his car and laid across the hood of my car. andrew got out of his and was standing in the middle of the street. by this time, the light was definitely green. haha. we all met up at big boys. at one point i was looking at the big scary beard dale had grown while i was trying to tell a story that involved a married couple. while looking at dale, i described the couple as "harried." it took me a minute to realize that the reason i slipped was because i was concentrating so hard on dale's scary beard. i couldn't stop laughing.

*me, beth and amy invented a new std called "the swipe." you get it in your buttcrack. the conversation occurred over dinner at fridays. that is all i wish to say about that.

*for amy's birthday we went out to dinner. none of us could finish our dessert, so we got our cheesecake to go. we got out to the car and realized we didn't have any plastic silverware to eat the cake with, so we decided it would be funny to eat it with our face. but where should we go to eat cheesecake with our face? amy and i had a brainstorm at the same moment: "UNCLE BOB'S!" it seemed only logical that we drive to our (secretly gay) uncle bob's house and eat our cheesecake with our face in his driveway undetected. that was not enough for amy, who then finished the rules for the game: since i have three uncle bobs and there were three of us in the car, we would each pick an uncle bob and eat our cheesecake in their driveway. with our face. without them catching us. the rule was that if they came outside and caught us and wondered what we were doing at their house, we had to offer our piece of cake to them and tell them we were there to drop it off. so that's how we spent amy's birthday. beth had gay uncle bob's, which was scary enough to pull off because we feel like we aren't allowed to know where he lives. he never invites any of the family over to his house for anything. i had uncle bob that lived on the busy street with the tiny driveway and huge frontroom window where they could totally see me if they happened to look out. amy had my uncle little bob's, who lives out in the middle of darkness but has two loud dogs that could have alerted him to our presence in the driveway at any moment. it was completely stupid and completely thrilling and completely funny.

*beth cleaned the house for 10 hours yesterday so i bought her a whopper.

ok so i am done with category things i think. in some very sad news, i guess it really is true that billy, aka bass wolf, died from a heartattack yesterday. i was hoping it was just some sick but early april fool's joke. dang! i just saw them last month! i just met billy and laughed really hard at his silliness! i just took pictures with him and couldn't wait until they toured here again! i am really sad. it's a sad thing. he rocked really hard.

i am taking a boy on a surprise date on sunday. i am nervous. it all comes down to this.

i am sick again, which seems to be my condition 80% of the time. for my next birthday, i would like a new immune system please. i am giving lacey a run for her money in the health department.

at this moment, my favorite song in the whole world is "radio beat" by the devil dogs. yowza. it drives me crazy in the best way possible.

xoxo