i've been WEIRD lately. i wouldn't exactly say i've been in a good mood, or even had anything to be particularly happy about, but i've been feeling SOMETHING lately and it's really good. i don't know. it's hard to describe. i guess i just look at the things around me and realize that they really aren't that bad. it's one of those moments of clarity where i am trying to be very conscious about the things i am grateful for, so i am not taking things for granted. so it's not really being happy, but more like being content. i have been really content lately. and little things, like driving home in the sunshine while we cut school today and listening to "everlong" by the foo fighters on the radio really loud...moments like that make me feel so good i kinda wanna combust. it's nice. it's nice to be aware and thankful at the same time. here is a sort of recap since last monday.

tuesday: uneventful, but still feelin good. hung out with a friend that came to see me.

wednesday: catching up with beth and angie at paneens. HELLO, CHEEEEESE COMBOS! girl talk. much needed.

thursday: got megadeth back from the vet! i missed her so. normally i lock the cats out of my room at nite so they don't get into everything, but i let her sleep with me and i woke up on my side to find her laying on my shoulder. so adorable. weekly oc nite with beth and amy. ate pizza. talked to kevin on the phone, and all is well.

friday: party at the three nails! haven't seen ben and kace in so long. waited and waited for andrew. me and beth brought mike and feowyn. thankful for friends. found the funny priest hiding in andrew's room. kevin showed up, which was nice of him. a bunch of us played telephone. "(chewing noise)blackbeard the pirate needs a haircut."

saturday: one of those nites that seems too unreal to have happened. met up with feowyn at the tough and lovely / reigning sound show. great bands, great fun. met a myspace friend from colubus who kept me entertained all nite long with conversations about ghosts and the monkees. saw friends. rocked out. enjoyed the feeling of being out by myself and not feeling that weird about it. [2]ravage Function: verb Inflected Form(s): rav·aged; rav·ag·ing Date: circa 1611 transitive senses: to wreak havoc on : affect destructively intransitive senses: to commit destructive actions. RAVAGE implies violent often cumulative depredation and destruction. THAT was something new. i was quite taken aback, yet pleasantly surprised. i like surprises.

sunday: spent almost the entire day laying in billie's bed together eating ice cream cones and talking about the things that old people talk about. now that we're old. then i orgainzed the angie and billie reunion 2005! i loved watching them hug! we all had so much talking to do. it didn't last nearly enough. i can't wait for us to all hang out again, it's been over a year. i hated being in the middle. YAY! andrew stopped over and read to us before bed. haha. i am so glad he is our best friend.

today: it was too tempting to cut almost the whole day of school. hot trash was fun. talked to kevin and angie. had a good talk with beth. felt very lucky for the friends i have. loved them, and life.

i don't know who the dumb kids are leaving all the posts on my message board, but i wish it would stop.

a little while ago right after the big bang happened and i was feeling like i hit rock bottom, my friend jason wrote me an email. i know i mentioned him in here before. i like to refer to him as my guardian angel, because i've never met him in person and yet he is one of the most genuine and sincere and thoughtful friends i have. seriously, he is great, and he always knows when i am going through something crappy and has nice things to say to help me feel better. so anyhow, i got an email from him after the big bang and it was honestly one of the nicest things i think anyone has ever said about me. i am not posting it in here because i agree with him and think i am awesome, but because i was just talking about how lucky i am to have amazing friends, and along with dara (who i miss terribly) he is the most amazing one i have never met. this is why:

"i swear, sometimes i think its strange that i care so much for someone i haven't met. So I've thought it over and i figured out why i like you so much. its because from the second i found your website with all the pictures of you and stuff about green day and rock n roll and classic cars....i realized that you were the pure embodiment of cool, haha. now im not quite sure how modest you are, so i dont know if you're thinking "oh, nigga please! check yo'self before you wreck yourself" or if youre thinking, "damn right i am." i hope its the latter, because ive given this a lot of thought. i really do wish i knew a few more people like you. especially girls, because a girl who knows how to rock is a rare find these days. but its not just because you know about rock n roll or green day or anything that makes you rad. i cant quite put my finger on it, but i guess its just the way you put it all together. youre the total kick ass package, ya dig?