it's kinda funny how you can tell how angry i am just by counting the number of times i say "fuck" in my writing. reading over my entry from yesterday, i had a lot of angst. it just sorta comes out as a filler when i am trying to empty out my black SOUL on paper, haha. or as billie joe once said, "i open out my mouth and out it came, just like that!" only beth can appreciate that quote from that particular interview, i think.

so anyway, my goal for next week is that i will start enjoying people more and stop keeping company strictly with myself. i still don't know what my problem is (see last entry), but i want it to stop. i remember when i used to be sad about kevin all the time and billie and angie used to refuse to take me to my house after school because they knew i was slowly driving myself insane. they would make me go anywhere, so long as it didn't include my bed and sleeping my life away so that i didn't have to think about how sad i was. i think i might need an intervention of a similar type here. next week, call me and tell me you are coming over, no matter what stupid excuse i give you. i don't care if i'm in my pajamas already or if i have to work in the morning or if i would rather be reading this book about a naughty priest. BE STRONG. tell me i am leaving my house. tell me you will set it on fire if i don't. tell me anything. just save me from myself, and don't let me talk you out of it.

since this plan isn't going into action until next week i am just going to sit here and write even though i have nothing to really talk about.

in this weird way, my life has been all about sex, drugs and rocknroll lately. i have no desire to elaborate except for the rocknroll part, which includes a bunch of awesome new bands i have seen recently:

hillbilly werewolf: two guys, one delicious nightmare. hillbilly werewolf (the man) once explained "I STARTED DOING HILLBILLY WEREWOLF BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT THERE NEEDED TO BE A GUY IN A ZOMBIE SUIT PLAYING ROCK N ROLL." if that doesn't sound enticing enough, add in the fact that i heard them cover "i'm ready" by fats domino, "let's have a party" by wanda jackson AND "rockin this joint tonite" by kid thomas. totally amazing and hilarious.

the fatals: some raw, dirty garage rock from france. despite the fact that beth insisted the bassist had a dog face (he did) and greg the bunny said the drummer looked like a middle-aged fetus (he DID!) they are way fun to catch live (and probably way fun any way you cut it, but i can't get my hands on any of their recorded stuff).

the butchers: PA rocknroll that made my feet totally happy. not only do they wear bloody butchers aprons on stage, but each member has his own trademark bloodsmears upon his person. my personal favorite was the guitarist who has it smeared around his mouth, making him look like the little boy who snuck into the chocolate stash and ate it quickly before he got caught.

miss alex white: 19(?)-year-old rocknroll cheerleader is kinda how i see it. i wish i could rock out like that.

memphis morticians: dang these boys got style. new york psychobilly, and you KNOW i love that upright bass. funfunfun.

today, greg the bunny called and left me a voicemail that said "today i saw a mustache at work that would make you crap your pants. i'll have to tell you more about it later." ahhhahaha.

jesus shit i don't want to sit here anymore. i should call someone.

nah.

xoxo